Dungeons and Dragons

I work for a toy retailer, whom shall remain nameless because I think the Boss would prefer people not associate my random thoughts with his business. We sell the usual, Monopoly, and Scrabble and things of that nature, but the main portion of our business comes from games most "regular" people have never heard of; Settlers of Catan, Tomb, Dust, Arkham Horror, Carcassone, Pandemic, and lots and lots of role playing games. Thus the title of my current blog.

I was thinking about this at midnight last night while my wife was trying to have a "Serious" talk. I know it's horrible that I wasn't paying more attention but I can't help it. I'd had to stop drinking here recently and I haven't taken any sort of mind numbing or altering drugs in years, prescription or otherwise.

So my thought was this ...
Dungeons and Dragons ...
How does the dragon get down there?
Dungeons are underground, usually far underground, and dragons are suppose to be extremely large.
How'd he get there?
Did someone slip him a roofie and build the mountain around him?
Was he hatched or born there?
If so, how did he get all the treasure that makes it worth transversing the dungeon to fight him? No one wants to fight a poor, broke ass dragon.
Even if he for some reason decided to climb down a huge hole and into a cave ...
Once he is down in the cave how does he get the treasure down there?
He didn't carry it in his pockets, he's a dragon, he has scales, not pants.
He can't just scoop it up in his hands because he has none, dragons have claws, not fingers.
Would he hold it in his mouth maybe?
What about the whole flame breath thing, it would melt the gold, crack the gems and burn the magic books would it not?
Not to mention that it would then be slimy, not shiny.
Does he use magic to turn into a human then walk down? If he could do that why find a cave? Why not get a comfy Inn and a nice soft, mostly bug free bed?
Would he get a mule team and wagon to cart it all down? I doubt it, it's not like he could fly into the center of town to the stables and hire them, besides, even if he did try to hire someone it's not like they would do it knowing they would be the after delivery snack.
And if he turned into a human to hire the mule team I think people would be a little suspious of having to cart wagon loads of gold and jewels into a cave.

I really don't get it. I love playing D&D although I can't help but wonder about these things. Maybe it's good that I play a Bard, I can ask questions like that and get away with it because no one pays any attention to me.